Blowing Smoke

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I call myself and the other adults in my slice of suburbia…Villagers.

I penned a letter to a fellow villager yesterday…and since I knew I could never actually send it to her, or read it to her, or post it on a billboard for all to see…I tore it up, stuck it in a glass jar, took a lighter and SET IT ON FIRE.

BURN BABY BURN.

Liberating.

As the smoke started wafting out of the jar, I imagined it’s smoldering words reaching her in her part of the village and her getting the message that

I DO NOT WANT her negative energy to permeate me or my family ever again.

In my former life. I would have used her crap to justify the cliche

“She Drove Me to Drink”

Not this time!  Nope.  No one gets to be a drinking excuse or have power over me.  Nope.  Not anymore!

{I highly recommend this burning ceremony!  It’s the second time I’ve done it in my brief life…and it is powerful stuff.  I felt I was able to say what I wanted to say…yet act like the bigger person and LET IT GO for the greater good …in this instance…the greater good of the “neighborhood”} 

Yesterday, in the icy January wind, I was quite literally blowing the smoke toward her house.  LOL.

But as I titled this post, it reminded me of all the times I BLEW SMOKE UP MY OWN ASS as I hid my struggles with drinking.  The BS I told myself when I justified a binge.  (Stress, Sadness, Boredom, Annoyance ….and all the other Deflecting Denials)

  • I had a rough week… I deserve a drink.
  • Someone ticked me … I deserve a drink.
  • Miscarriage…I deserve LOTS of drinks.
  • What else is there to do?  Let’s drink.
  • Vacation…Of course, drinks all day …and/or evening long.

So, I’m thinking about a way to put together a “little burning ceremony” to incinerate any and all desire to ever drink again!

AHA MOMENT…I wrote about this last month when contemplating the SOS ToolKit.  Have the tools ready to NOT drink.

Let it GO!

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