Letter from Polonius

My daughter sent me homework.

Her English class is reading Hamlet.  Early in the play Polonius (Father) offers advise to Laertes (Son) who is leaving home for France.  He tells him, among other things, to never borrow or lend money, to be careful in his choice of friends, to listen well to the opinions of others, but to speak his own sparingly, to avoid wasting money on flashy clothes, and above all to always follow his heart.

Her teacher has offered us, (Parents), the opportunity to share our own thoughts with our high school student.  Advice, Values, Lessons Learned as they head off to college.  (Kind of a cool assignment).

While procrastinating…I’ve popped over to this blog because I feel as if this experience of writing and reading and sharing with all of you serves as my “Letter to Myself”.  My goal is to get down my feelings and thoughts during these early days so that I don’t FORGET.

Maybe it’s because I did string 25 months together, and then just thought I could “dabble” as a moderate.  That worked out ok, for awhile, even a couple years…and then I sort of fell back into fuzzy and hazy goodbyes (dare I say blackouts),  embarrassment, regret, shame, denial, …dehydration, headaches, moodiness…just a self-inflicted HOT MESS.

The point being… I don’t want to dwell in the past and beat myself up, but I need to have a way of looking back and reading my own thoughts and words… My own Letter from Polonius.

A few quotes for Merry:

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Like a wildflower; she spent her days allowing herself to grow, not many knew of her struggle, but eventually all; knew of her light.  – Nikki Rowe

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“Your body is the only home you have to live, nurture it, honor it, love it and respect it.” -Melissa Ambrosini

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“Close your eyes and imagine the best version of you possible. That’s who you really are, let go of any part of you that doesn’t believe it”. Chris Assaad

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That thing we call intuition? It’s your soul.  You can trust it.  -Unknown

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“Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” [Christopher Robin to Pooh] -A.A. Milne

 

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Bloom

 

 

4 thoughts on “Letter from Polonius

  1. I find writing things down very therapeutic. Even in my journey from antidepressant withdrawal it has been very beneficial to write down my experience. I can look back and see how far I have come in my battle against depression.
    I was interested to hear that you had a 25 month period of sobriety before going back to drinking. I had a previous five month period of sobriety before going back to ‘moderate drinking’ which didn’t last long. I think the voice of moderation is my biggest enemy. After a long period you are possibly more at risk than ever. I need to remind myself that it doesn’t matter if it is three months, six months or two years, I can never ever be a moderate drinker…..I am an alcoholic.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m wrapping my brain around the idea that alcohol makes me LESS THAN who I have the potential to be… It Fizzles my Sizzle….Dulls my Light….even into the first sip…I am NOT me anymore. I started to feel that more and more at about PS60 (Pre-Sobriety 60 days…a new term for me). It actually started to rattle me a little that I could feel this haze come over me so quickly. So yep…I can never be a moderate either! 🙂

      Like

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