I don’t even know how many days…over 90. I simply decided on December 6, 2017 to stop drinking on December 7, 2017. I went through the fear of asking myself if this was going to be forever…but having been sober for 25 months a few years ago…it only took a few weeks of sobriety to know that this was a FOREVER decision for my life. I just feel to amazing to ever go back to THAT again.
I am feeling the FREEDOM that Annie Grace mentions her book: The Naked Mind: Chapter 13: The Mystery of Spontaneous Sobriety.
Not only are people who simply quit, without programs or outside help, more successful in maintaining a healthy relationship with alcohol, they appear to be more at peace with and happier about their decision. A significant portion of their time and energy is not dedicated to maintaining success. (p. 131)
For me, I’m doing okay on my own. I’ve found resources such as Vale and Grace’s books which have helped me to develop a better mindset and clear out some unconscious clutter about the role alcohol played in my life. Fear was replaced with logic and common sense for me.
And the freedom! Woohoo. As Grace states,
Instead of sobriety becoming a daily focus with meetings, readings, and devotionals, it fades into the background allowing them to be truly free. (p. 131)
This wasn’t easy. I put in some effort the first 60-75 days. I blogged everyday. I read a ton of sobriety websites and books. I participated online with all of you readers and even started a social media presence for Merry B Sober.
But then I started to just live my life….and the hyper focus of checking on all my supports started to fade away as I shifted to focusing back on myself and my family’s needs. (It also helped that I took my “merrybsober” gmail account off my regularly checked email feed). I’m blending my first 90 days of tools into a lifestyle that I can live forever.
It feels really good!
I feel peaceful.
I feel free.