To change the mindset for “I drink when I’m sad. It takes the edge off”, Annie Grace shares CLARITY for this AWARENESS.
Alcohol is a depressant. It is biphasic, or two phases, when alcohol enters the body. BAC (Blood Alcohol Content) rises and then falls. When it falls, and unhappiness sets in, my go to response was DRINK MORE. The artificial stimulation to the pleasure center corrects itself in the true nature of alcohol – depression in the form of anxious, sad, weepy, morose, or even sleepy. That was my gig. I’d have a drink, feel the buzz, start to get sleepy (and since I didn’t want the party to end), I’d learn another drink would wake me up. But the body wants the correction from being up…so it sends the signals to go down. I’ve been on that seesaw.
She talks of negative feeling at about .05 to .06. Well… I never felt badly at that point…I’ve blown into meters where I am over .1. — and I was still having fun. Of course, I felt like shit the next day and probably forgot getting into bed. But I understand the concept of UP and DOWN.
I believe I had some times of depression (infertility was a blue period of my life)… but it was less to make me feel better…but more to numb myself. I can understand now why the depression during sobriety -had issues releasing itself – due to the aftermath of the alcohol consumption.
I really like this metaphor that Annie presents:
“Consider what a seed must do to become a tree? Two things. First, it must cease to be a seed by changing and breaking out of it’s shell; all very intense things.
And second, it must go DOWN, grow roots before it grows UP and becomes a tree. Sadness is natural and normal. It is something we can learn from. We tell ourselves it is wrong to feel sad… we compound the feeling of sadness with a feeling of something being wrong with us, of guilt.
It’s okay to feel all our emotions—nothing is wrong with us.” (p177)
“Depression lies to us, and alcohol makes those lies believable.”
Alcohol is SAD