Being Bored

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I think boredom (or what I thought might be a boring event) “drove me to drink” at times.  Too lazy to come up with something fun to do…it was easy to say “let’s meet for drinks”…or “Let’s open a bottle of wine tonight”.

Annie Grace addresses boredom on Day 17 of the Alcohol Experiment.  She points out that some people are uncomfortable with themselves – when alone with their thoughts.  “And over time, we learn to be ashamed of this state of boredom” (p. 146)

Drinking blurs everything.  It doesn’t make it more exciting or interesting.  If I’m drinking to make being with someone bearable… I shouldn’t be with that person anyways… throw away the notion: “They drove me to drink”.  Choose not to waste time with people who need to be blurred to be tolerated.

“Boredom has a purpose.” Allow the discomfort to get creative.  Look for color.  Hunt down other options.

I like some of her ideas to break the boredom…light up the brain. Annie likes things with goals that one can tick off as they get closer.

  • Try a GPS app to track daily miles…and pick a fun place you would want to visit (she gives the example of Rome)…and when you accomplish the distance…celeberate with an Italian dinner party.
  • Write a memoir or novel. Check off the chapters as they get completed.  (Maybe someday… I’ll blog for now)

Potential Boredom Busters

  • Ballroom Dancing
  • Archery
  • Cross Country Skiing
  • Grad School
  • Creative Writing
  • Art Class

 

 

ACT #7 Parenting (Stress)

Annie Grace invites an experiment in Alcohol Free Living.  It’s been a couple weeks and today’s reading asked me to gain…

Awareness – Clarity – Turnaround of the statement: “I need a drink to handle my kids”.

I have three kids who are all old enough to drive.  Which makes them all able to have access to alcohol and drugs (and inhalants…and sex…and) – which could stress out any parent enough to “Drive them to Drink”.

This actually gave me an easy out in social circles to NOT drink.  At any given time, I might have to go out and “parent”.  {Grateful for the July evening when we were cold sober and got the call from the local police that our ‘driver’ was pulled over in a grocery store parking lot for a “teen prank”}. Not sure how that would have all gone done if neither of us was too drunk to drive to meet all of them.

I’ve been lucky.

I have been intoxicated with kids in the house…but thankfully (on my knees in gratitude to my guardian angels)… I have not been called on to have to “sober up quickly” to get my kids necessary life sustaining care.  I wasn’t necessarily responsible and aware ten years ago… I was just lucky.

{With cheeks red in shame, I did pack up my toddlers and drive home drunk one night…it still haunts me as to the all the ways that could have gone so many shades of shit show…including—most likely—losing my kids to social services had I been pulled over}

I do worry about how my actions model “adulting behaviors” for my kids.  I don’t want them making the same mistakes I made in my teens and twenties.

I’ve had a lot of this on my. mind for the past few years.  I am still trying to wrap my brain around how to tell them that what they have watched me do in social situations – Is NOT responsible adulting…. without preaching, or appearing to judge my peers – the adults- they have grown up with.  It’s sorta messy.  I’m pondering all of it.

For now it’s time for Turnaround:

  • I do NOT need drinks to handle my kids.
  • Drinks do NOT make me a better – less stressed – more attentive parent.
  • Alcohol robs me of being 100% present with my family.
  • Liquor DOES NOT teach my kids to be a happy person.  I do not want that for them.
  • Numbing myself…means I am numb for the people I love.
  • Alcohol creates STRESS it does not relieve it.